Ask Away: Why does security love to follow me?

Occasional I get asked for advice via email, facebook and or sms on a great number of many different quandaries relating to the arts about etiquette, applications and proposals, art making, matters of the heart, and over any given amount of time, some questions from numerous unconnected and unrelated people repeat themselves.


Today I received this sms from Albert, who asks a common question:


Aces! I need your advice: every time I go to see an exhibition at the NGV, the guards ghost around me like I'm an art theif or a vandal. What the cripes?
Yours most Sincerely,
Al.


Ah yes, you see Albert, the guards at the NGV follow several philosophical, psychological and spiritual schools of thought in unison, one of which is to regard every entity (most of which happen to be human in their experience) that enters an art gallery to be either 'good' or 'bad' (this is of course especially possible if we do away with Spinoza, and instead focus on the duality of the Yin and Yang, and our nations admiration for the equal yet opposing possibly results of a coin toss).


Given that there is no way of determining which patrons are good or bad, or any way at all to even prove of anyone else of even having their own mind or sentient intelligence of their own, the security guards tend to rely on a combination of Murphy's Law and the physical law of entropy, albeit the later is applied to the moral compass of all patrons and not so much the matter of which they are comprised, meaning that by this logic, most people are 'bad' and only a small portion are 'good', and as mentioned, no way of telling one from the other.


The actions of the 'good' simply wander around the spaces, peering thoughtfully at images and objects and rarely unattended cleaners carts laden with sanitizing products and rags, whilst furrowing their brows and holding their chins. The actions of the 'bad' deceptively mimic those of the good, but if unobserved for even a moment, could launch themselves at an artwork wielding a mallet, as was the case in 1997, or could simply nab a work, as in the 1997 remake of The Thomas Crown Affair starring Pierce Brosnan. My advice is to stop looking like a debonair playboy who has nothing better to do than commit opportunistic crimes, such as art theft. 


However, opportunistic crime, such as theft, is most common with the working class, so perhaps you appear less like a debonair playboy and more like a working class lad that has the possibility of looking like an working class opportunistic thief, given the opportunity, that is, if no one were looking.


It may also not help that the guards spend much of their time during their 14 hour shifts standing in one room, with only their own minds to keep them company and thus come up with all many of hybrid philosophies and theories, some of which are detailed above, and thus are overjoyed when a member of the general public strays into their jurisdiction because it means that they, as security guards, finally have some security to be guarding from a possible threat, unfortunately that possible threat is yourself, the humble appreciator of fine art. 


My conclusion is that you can't help a security guards actions, nor what they think, or what their personal convictions may be so simply ignore them or, do as I do, and pretend not to speak english by smiling and nodding blankly when spoken to, and occasionally if needed, creating a couple of possibly russian sounding words in feigned puzzlement and confusion such as 'erh-toh brorshk? brorshk?' or 'nah, burgh hojshk mish?'. Of course this strategy doesn't help me in the slightest because the guards no that I work at the gallery and both speak and understand english, but it may serve you in your shroud of anonymity somewhat better than myself.


Happy art viewing and, as Kimi always says: 'Godspeed!'. 

NEWS: Ellwood returns to NGV

Tony Ellwood, who left his post as a deputy director at NGV to take up the directorship of both the Queensland Art Gallery and Gallery of Modern Art in 2007, will leave the sunshine state to return for the top gig at NGV.

Despite having said he wouldn't be leaving twin-state galleries QAG and GOMA, it'll be confirmed by Victorian Premier Ted Baillieu tomorrow morning. In his time Ellwood had raised the galleries to be nations most popular.

When comparing the figures, the NGV received almost a million less visitors, 800,000 to be exact, then its northern contemporaries, making it something of a 'renovators dream' for Ellwood. The NGV has also lost some favour with the public for not keeping up with contemporary art, and this was most noticable last year when the NGV did not renew Contemporary art curator Alex Bakers contract who was billed as "a breath of fresh air" for the gallery.

NEWS: Gerard Vaughan resigns as director of NGV

Here is the big man himself having a laugh with a faux-Gogh. (Photo: John Woudstra)

Its true (heres a link to prove it http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/hunt-is-on-for-a-new-ngv-director/story-fn7x8me2-1226133436887).

The big man is stepping down after 12 years and the search is on for a replacement.

Hopeful applicants should send resumes to: jobapplications@ngv.vic.gov.au

ARTICLE: Duchamp, Nietzsche and the Spectacle of the Live Creative Act.

SDM crew are painting a mural for the NGV Studio space in the Atrium of Federation Square. It’s a public endeavour: 20 metres of spray paint fuelled graffiti tagging in a public area with a lot of foot traffic on the weekend. In this instance, the street art is legal and condoned by a state institution and everyone is noticing.

The creative, and often illegal act, is made public and is housed safely behind an extensive glass wall, protected like a curio in a cabinet and guarded from would be vandals. The NGV Studio space is at one of the entrances to the Atrium and the public walking past are restaurant and bar goers, families with young children from the NGV Kids Corner, Gallery hoppers and attendees to events for both the L’Oreal Fashion week and Multicultural Arts Victoria which are also being hosted on Federation Square; a mass of the general public are being made privy to a usually secret practice that would ordinarily be carried out under under the dark cover of night and, by our current laws, illegally.

The public creative act is intriguing to the general public and they come forward to comment on the skill and technique of the artists as it occurs live in front of them. The public witness images and colours coming forward out of the void of a blank wall. The artists purposeful actions and deft movements become a form of calligraphic magic, an aesthetic alchemy and the audience in turn turns the creative act into a performative one. (1)

The creative act also becomes one of unintentional performance, especially in such a public space. A crowd grows and they admire a silent visual song with their eyes, completely unknown to the performers who have their backs to the viewing public as they work, however their unseeing 2D creation, no longer an abyss, stares back. (2)

The SDM crew are subtly educating the viewer about graffiti history by a painting all the pieces with a set colour scheme in their own individual styles, a technique utilised by the first crews in New York during the modern birth of graffiti in the 1970’s so that allegiances could be identified regardless of where, geographically in the city, a piece was sprayed. The traditional uniformity is a nod to the both the American and Australian grandfathers of aerosol.

For many members of the public, graffiti is associated with illegal vandalism, so for those rubbernecking as they walk by, there is an interest in the illegal and suggested excitement and danger that is implied within graffiti culture. Within the gallery context however, all elements of danger are removed: OHS is adhered to, a guard sits watch over the graffiti artists and protects them as gallery contractors while they work, there isn’t even the risk or aerosol or paint fume inhalation thanks to multiple industrial exhaust fans. The dichotomies and contradictions of a traditional subversive art form within the framework of the state gallery are evident, and I think that this fact is half of the appeal. I can’t decide out if this is a house pet posing as a predator or vice versa. (3)

In many ways this is also the performance of postmodernity sandwiching historically high and low brow art forms together and as Debord predicted, like any spectacle, the public are eating it up. (4)

(1) “All in all, the creative act is not performed by the artist alone; the spectator brings the work in contact with the external world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds his contribution to the creative act.” –Marcel Duchamp

(2) “If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you.” - Friedrich Nietzsche.

(3) "Forget her, she's a predator posing as a house pet." - Chuck Palahniuk, ‘Fight Club’.

(4) The Society of the Spectacle (La Société du spectacle), Guy Debord, 1967

Note: no apologies for the appalling lack of order among the citations and thankyou to David Hurlston for the conversation.

The Gallery is your friend, literally.

Internet based social media platforms started off as another way for people to keep in contact that was more fluid and easier to use than email. Very soon after business owners realised the value of anthropomorphising their businesses and listing them online with a profile as though they were a human entity. Theres obvious benefits such as added exposure, its inexpensive (or in most cases free), and as an online form of word of mouth, anything that a customer or fan of a business or organisation listed online is seen by all their 'friends'. The last point however is a double edged sword because if a business has delivered a poor product or service, customers with smart phones can instantaneously shame you to up their immediate friendship circle (a maximum of 5000 on Facebook) and if the comment or post is public, its able to be seen and searched by anyone with an internet connection, which makes businesses more accountable than ever.

Beechworth Bakery's service is obscenely questionable: WTF

Art Gallerys are quickly jumping on the bandwagon. Yesterday, the National Gallery of Victoria was all smiles because they hit 7000 fans and posted thankyous and a link to an equally bright artwork (one from their own collection).

This is progress. I like being able to view different gallerys profiles so easily, checking events, timings for performances, lectures or openings, is easier than clicking through a bunch of hyperlinks on a website. Its more humanising and descriptively comparable to 'having a conversation', as opposed to checking a timetable or schedule.